When a team has things just right in Loserball, why mess it up? The braintrust of the most solid teams with consistently glorious gaffes never seems to embrace the suck like we do here at Loserball.

So teams will spend like crazy to bring in players to wrong the rights of the previous season. Sometimes teams make great signings, and sometimes it doesn’t work out quite as planned. Of course, it’s the QB that impacts the game — and Loserball scoring — the most, so let’s start with the free agent (and one trade) signal callers that have new homes for 2025.

Daniel Jones, Indianapolis Colts – The good news in Loserball Nation is that no matter who the Colts go with at quarterback, we have ourselves a great option. Anthony Richardson has already proven that he is the king of incompletions and turns the ball over as much as he can. Jones comes to Indy to try to take the starting job. His MVP-like performances over the years in the swampy Meadowlands were the stuff of legend. Sure, the Colts line is a little less porous than the Giants, but Jones really excels at racking up the negative points!

Russell Wilson/Jameis Winston, New York Giants – Pleeeeeeeeease let Jameis somehow win the starting job here! We have put him on the Mount Rushmore of Loserball since he uttered the immortal, “I’m just praying for the Lord to deliver me from pick-sixes!” Lord, please don’t, as those are worth -200 a piece! Whoever is deigned to start, it looks to be a great season for the G-Men.

Justin Fields, New York Jets – A third team in three years for Fields spells continued Loserball upside, especially now that he’s on the Jets, who seem to make a miraculous mess of everything. It’s pretty clear that Fields is going to be running for his life aplenty — which leads to lots of sacks, hurried throws, and perfectly-timed turnovers.

Geno Smith, Las Vegas Raiders – Geno was down-and-up with the Seahawks, yet his promising tailspin late last year sent him packing to Sin City. What’s not to like? Second in the league in INTs with six more fumbles, and sacked 50 times to boot! You couldn’t pick one of his wide receivers out of a lineup, and he could be a finalist for Loserball Comeback Player of the Year.

Aaron Rodgers, ????? – This freaking guy still? While his options seem limited to Pittsburgh, his couch, or a darkness retreat, Rodgers still loves all the attention. He made the Jets sing last season in Loserball with consistently erratic throws, a statuesque pocket presence, and a propensity to throw it to the other team at timeliest moments. Once an NFL MVP and Loserball kryptonite, Rodgers could bring home some Loserball hardware this season if he finds a team and his skills continue to eloquently erode. Here’s to hoping that he’s under center somewhere when the regular season starts.

Of course, one can never forget Cleveland, with Joe Flacco and Kenny Pickett duking it out for a multiple of magnificent mistakes. The Browns are always keeping it competitive! Stay tuned for a draft recap next week and remember — you might be a loser, but that makes you a winner here.